we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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