Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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