would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
