It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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