you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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