I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
