my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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