do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
