With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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