when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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