I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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