Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
