he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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