I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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