I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
