have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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