I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
