Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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