the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
