It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love you. Go after that dick
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
