He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
