When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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