best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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