we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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