We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
