the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
