are you still at the devil's house?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
