That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
