so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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