you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
