Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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