i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize