people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
