she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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