He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
