i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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