oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
