we have pet lesbian snakes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
