First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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