BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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