So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just made my gag reflex go away.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
