i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
