I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
