Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
