a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
