Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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