So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
