i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We're too hungover to prance.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
