please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize