Apparently you make a good broom.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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