I'm really into asian looking animals
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They took my balls.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
