my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
