worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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