I wish they made helmets for livers.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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