i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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