My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
