I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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