he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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