I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
nutella sex= disaster
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
