Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
