white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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