I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
