she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
