what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
