I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
are you so shy because you have an std?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
only you would photoshop your dick
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
