So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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